ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
