So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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