turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
