he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
