I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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