i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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