Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
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