Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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