I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
