so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
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