you would pick up someone in the library
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I had to cum in my sink.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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