There is no way he is gay with that hair.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
