talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
