No, drunk sperm still make babies.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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