another moral hangover. fuck.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
