ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
