idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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