He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
