I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
