We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize