Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
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