If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
