so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
