When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
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