Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
i think i have two assholes
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Randomize
