Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
