wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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