Fuck appropriateness.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Randomize
