too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Randomize
