Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
