this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Ketchup is God's man juice
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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