i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
