wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
