Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
