I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
