Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
