He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I wish i was in the wii world.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
