I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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