So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
