I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
