Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I love you. Go after that dick
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
