I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize