Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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