so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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