I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
