if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
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