By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
