No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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