It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
