Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Randomize
