And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
