Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
