I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize
