You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
