wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
