How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
