just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
