Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
My balls are so social today.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Also, beer. Big fan.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
