she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize