David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize
