alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
i will never coherently bang her
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
