Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
