i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
