We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
